Let’s face it! Each one of us has been there, done that!
You know it, I know it. Everybody knows it! We’ve all sat in that hot seat, answering / Dodging or simply avoiding the questions being thrown at us. Be it a job interview or a college interview or any other interview you had to face and ace!
Here’s what goes on in that pretty little head of yours when you’re sitting there pretending to care what your interviewer has to say-
1. Damn it. HOW COULD I BE LATE?!
No matter how organised/disciplined you are. It’s bound to happen at least once. And when does it happen? Yep. On the day of the big interview. It’s exactly how Murphy’s law goes: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong; probably at the worst possible time. Nevertheless, pick yourself up. Apologise (but don’t overdo it) and CONCENTRATE!
2. NOD! I should Nod, I haven’t nodded in a while 😷
We’ve all been there. When the interviewer keeps going on and on about something you don’t understand. You are trying to pay attention but you eventually drift into nothingness and when you snap out of it you have no idea what’s going on. So you just sit and pretend you understand everything. What better pretence than nodding in agreement, right? 😉
3. When will this end? How long is this thing?! Didn’t it say 20 minutes on the Form?
And the interview is endless! 10 minutes in and it already feels like ages have passed. Enjoy it while it lasts? 😆
4. Did he just frown at me and write something down?
Classic. We’re all well aware of the general practise of taking notes during an interview. And yet, we only perceive we’re being judged, even so.. negatively. Maybe he’s writing down something positive about you, impressed. But no. I gotta think he’s a meanie taking negative notes about me!
5. Gross. Did he just *Add something unpleasant*?!
Fart* Pick his nose* scratch his butt* stroke his butt* You name it. (I can’t think of more) bottom line is: It’s inappropriate. And you can’t wait to get out!
6. OMG. OH NO! Do I feel a fart coming up?!
Oh no. Even worse when you’re the one doing the inappropriate things, isn’t it? What do you do? You control the urge. If you can’t and it comes out anyways? Take responsibility. Accept it, And move on. You’ll be respected. Trust me.
7. Please don’t ask me to speak in *The language you added in your CV so it looks impressive*
We’ve done it. Admit it. You’ve added a language on your resume that you don’t know well enough, for the sake of it. This is the language that you took as a subject but never paid attention to. Or one that’s native to the country your parents belong to, but you have never been to. It’s the language you understand (kind of?) but can’t speak. Its the ‘Write it so the space on the form isn’t empty‘ language.
8. MY BRAIN VANISHED! I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE! 😱
Another classic. Your mind goes blank and your mouth goes dry. And you can’t fathom as to what’s being asked. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Understand the question and then answer.
9. Did I dress up enough?
Cliché. “Mirror mirror on the wall, do I look like a shabby Paul?”
10. Am I overdressed ?!
Not dressed up enough? Bad. Overdressed? Worse. Imagine wearing Jimmy choos with festive carnival makeup and a flowy dress at an interview. Not bad enough? Add a necklace. Which job did you apply for? Cinderella? Stick to black. When in doubt, suit it up. And of course, black pumps are always the safest choice.
11. Salary. How much will you pay me, Eh? Do I ask or do I ask?
There’s no denying that this is the only question we’re all looking forward to. Don’t be shy or beat around the bush. It isn’t attractive. Don’t be too forward or make money signs with your hands either. Be calm and polite. Adress it mildly.
12. Wait, is this question even legal?!
Believe it or not, people do ask illegal questions during interviews! Could be a sexist remark, or something like “Are you seeing someone or are you single?” Yep. That’s illegal! So is any other question about your family background, religion, nationality, race, or gender. We just shrug them off under the General misconception that your potential employer wants to ‘know you better’
13. Woah. Is that ….?
So you’re sitting there waiting for your interviewer to walk in, when you see a familiar face take a seat in front of you! Wait, what? You know your interviewer?! An ex? An old school friend? That guy from the club who was hitting on you last night? AWKWARD.
14. WHAT? A TEST? WHEN DID ANYBODY MENTION I HAD TO TAKE A TEST?!
You walk in and Ta-Da! The receptionist asks you to wait until a computer is vacant so you can begin your ‘test‘. And you’re standing there like ‘What? MY WHAT?’
15. I wonder what would happen if somebody jumped out of this window? Would they survive?
It’s just one of those things. Your mind wanders off and you think of different scenarios that could happen. So you make some up in your mind to escape the eternal boringness of the whole situation. Y’know, keeping yourself busy! 😝
16. Don’t yawn! DON’T YAWN! Damn it. Okay. Quick! Gotta scratch my nose so he doesn’t see it. 👀
There it is. The Yawn. You can’t help feeling sleepy if an interview lingers along taking its own sweet time..
17. I’m so hungry!! Shouldn’t have skipped breakfast 😩
Happens to the best of us. We skip breakfast so we reach the venue on time. And then come the rumbles of the forgotten stomach. Awkward.
18. How long is this gonna take?! My back feels stiff! I wanna stretch so bad right now 😩
When you’ve been sitting for long enough, you back’s bound to get stiff. If only interviews were to happen while getting amazing tans at beaches this wouldn’t be a problem. Aah! Wishful thinking!
20. Okay. Calm down. Calm the fudge down! I can literally hear myself talking!
Now this one. I don’t know if it happens with you, but it definitely does to me! It’s when you start analysing your own answers as you speak! And you have no control of what you’re saying, You can hear yourself speaking. Literally. And the more you speak, the less sense you make.. Slooooww down! Shh. Take a moment. Collect your thoughts. Replay the question in your mind, chalk out your answer. Now SPEAK!